The first day of my life

Like so many unhappy couples, I am told, new years day was the day my partner and I broke up. We lived together for 4 years, and planned to get married. We began planning to get married 2 years ago, but it just never happened. Maybe we both knew it would never work out, or maybe it didn't work out because we didn't get married. What does marriage really mean anymore anyway? So now I am alone in the world again, and I am realising that I am 31 years old and I have no idea who I am. Sure, I have a great job, I have a sweet dog, I pay my bills...almost on time, but I have been in and out of long term relationships since I was 22 years old, and all I really know about myself seems to be that I am pretty good at giving other people what they want for 3 to 4 years. I lose myself in relationships, I think. In a relationship, I can be whoever you want me to be, but I am not really happy- and why would you know that? I probably give you no indication of my discontent. This blog is going to be about figuring out who I am, and what I want to do with myself.